April is settling in to be a real humdinger of a month.
Tomorrow would have been Mom's 76th birthday. April 30th will be thirteen years since my dad died. A nice little grief sandwich.
Yesterday I ripped a friend's head off about the amount of money to be spent on a wedding present. Scratch grief's surface and anger is lurking, just there.
Wait...maybe that's just me.
It feels as if I am weighted down with sandbags, there's a lot of sighing.
Last Wednesday, I cried in my car all the way back from Whole Foods, after having teared up at any small thing all day. Thursday, cried while on the phone with the VA - because I had to call them about a form they re-sent. They'd already told me in January that that form didn't need to be filled out.
Sigh. (see?)
Closing bank accounts, the last year of doing her taxes, each thing is has a finality that I didn't experience with my dad's death. She probably did though.
I wish I had known to talk to her about it.
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