October 7, 2012

Rudderless

That's how I feel.

A rudderless, pall covered, grumpy, sad, orphan.

Sigh.

It occurred to me yesterday that this birthday coming up is the first since becoming an orphan. (Funny how I think of orphans as being young, but the term applies to anyone without parents.) It never entered my head until yesterday that this would have the potential for extra sadness.

But now that it has, it doesn't surprise me. The person who gave birth to me, who loved me when I was sick, healthy, mean, kind, stupid, or stunningly brilliant, is gone. It doesn't matter that she was gone before she moved up here.

The cord is truly cut now.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Kim.... You still have a Father. Truly. He loves you when you're sick, healthy, mean, kind, stupid or stunningly brilliant and my prayer is that He'll become so incredibly real to you that you no longer feel like an orphan. He has better things for you and there's a Rudder For Kim just waiting for you up ahead. I just know it--honest. Blessings, Debra

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  2. Hi again, Kim! Somebody this morning came across a blog post of mine, this one--
    http://debrasotherthoughts.blogspot.com/2010/07/finishing-my-course-with-joy-and-love.html

    ...during a google search and sent me a nice email about it. After I went back and read the post, I saw your comment and laughed delightedly, especially after this sentence:

    "Do they think the ALL CAPS, negativity, and anti-liberal commie pinko, etc. is the way to fix that's broken?"

    Oh wow, my favorite people on the planet use those kinds of words. Thanks for being one of those favorite people. :) Blessings, Debra

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